Loving a Criminal
by Hollyva
Summary: R/S Slash - Short vignette about how Remus feel since Sirius has been brought to Azkaban and what sirius feels for Remus while he is in his cell


TITLE : Loving a criminal  
  
AUTHOR : Hollyva  
  
REVIEW AT : Estelle@mic.fr  
  
RATING : PG  
  
PAIRING : Sirius/Remus  
  
SUMMARY : Short vignette about how Remus feel since Sirius has been brought to Azkaban and what sirius feels for Remus while he is in his cell  
  
DISCLAIMER : All the characters in this story belong to JK Rowling  
  
******************  
  
REMUS' POV  
  
It's been ten years now that he's gone .  
  
Well, he's not really dead but somedays, I find myself wishing he was  
  
Why did he have to be the traitor ? Sirius was the most faithful person I knew . The more I think about it, the less it makes sense  
  
Dumbledore told me they suspected someone close to the Potters was giving information on the other side . I'm sure James never suspected Sirius .  
  
They always were the best of friends and i fit in there somehow .  
  
My worst fear was that, if something ever happened to Sirius, I would be isolated, left alone .  
  
Scared to be just 'the boyfriend'  
  
I didn't know how I get so crazy to start a relationship with Sirius .  
  
We were young and Sirius assured me he loved me . How I wanted to believe that .  
  
But the thing was Sirius loved almost every girl at school too .  
  
I really don't know how he convinced me that I was more important .  
  
I realize now that the whole animagus thing was just a way to impress me . Maybe he thought that , if he could prove me he accepted to wolf in me, I would accept him in my bed .  
  
It worked  
  
How could I be so naive . Being one of his best friends, I should have known that Sirius would make anything to impress somebody .  
  
Sirius was all about experimenting and when no decent girls were left at school in his opinion, he decided to seduce me .  
  
He thought that I would like it . To be with somebody. To feel loved . Even if it's not a promess for life  
  
He didn't understand that I could not have that .  
  
You see, not only I had to change into a werewolf every month, but that damned werewolf controlled my love life too  
  
I had to choose the right person .  
  
A person who wouldn't freak on me when I would tell them that if we have sex, then they will forever be linked to me  
  
Being linked to a werewolf isn't exactly a piece of cake  
  
And to make it worse, I had to like guys  
  
No sweet curves for me . No . Just muscled chest and broad shoulders .  
  
Sirius knew it . I told him a year before because I trusted him . He probably thought that I wouldn't mind .  
  
After all, I was just lonely Moony  
  
He didn't realize that because of his experiments, I fell in love with a criminal  
  
****************  
  
SIRIUS' POV  
  
My memories are fading away .  
  
Soon, i won't be able to remember the happy memories of my childhood .  
  
Do I have a brother ? or a sister ? What is the name of my mother ? What was she like ?  
  
All those happy memories are gone, I just feel something missing, without knowing what .  
  
Still, there are some memories I don't want to let go  
  
The memoriy of the only person I've ever really loved . More than everything in the world . I hope he knew it . That the only time I said somebody I loved them, and meant it, was with him .  
  
Remus has always been so important to me . I hope he knew it  
  
Every day, i sit in a corner of my cell, and I picture myself escaping from here and seeing him again .  
  
Every time, he takes me in his arms and kisses me, whispering in my ear that he always knew that I was innocent, that deep down, he never believed I killed those people  
  
And he feels good . So good to know that somebody knows me enough to figure out I didn't betray James .  
  
But that sweet dreams go as fast as they come . And once more, I'm left alone .  
  
I fight the dementors . I won't let them take my memories of you, Remus . Our first kiss . The first time we made love . The mating .  
  
It felt so good to be a part of you Remus, to know that we would be linked together forever  
  
The day I won't have those memories anymore will be the day of my death  
  
Cause you are my life , Moony . My reason for living . The reason I'm sane  
  
And I will get out of here  
  
Yes, I will . You know me, I never back out from a challenge . And what a big one it is .  
  
But I will do what no one ever managed to do before . I will escape  
  
For you . Only you . And I will make Peter pay . For taking our happiness away . God Remus I love you so much . I hope you know that .  
  
And I hope you don't think you fell in love with a criminal .  
  
Because that's all I can do now . hope  
  
*************  
  
I was wondering if I sould write a sequel . So tell me in your reviews 


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